Too Much Eggnog
by Meohy
Summary: Things don't go as planned for Mello, Matt, and Near on Christmas Eve. Matt burns every batch of cookies he tries to make, Mello can't seem to string up lights without blowing fuses, and Near gets drunk off eggnog.
1. Christmas Eve

**A/N-** As per usual, this is my holiday-themed story a day late! (It's kinda scary how this is becoming a tradition.) I sincerely hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas! I got footie pajamas this year - and, lemme tell ya, I **rock** them :P

* * *

"Okay, Near. Don't move. Don't move or we'll both fall," Mello looked down at Near, then focused on the task at hand—decorating the Christmas tree. He had his arms above his head, hands full of colorful lights. Standing on his Near's back, he reached the highest branches of the Christmas tree to place the lights there.

"You don't have to repeat yourself. I heard you the first time," Near replied, keeping his arms from shaking under Mello's weight by locking his elbows. He'd been forced into this uncomfortable position when Mello, having been unable to locate a step ladder, tripped up as he passed by, and, climbing on the poor albino's back, used him as the boost he'd needed to string the lights at the top of the tree.

"Just making sure." Mello said, shifting his foot to rest lower on the small of the white-haired boy's back to further support his stance. "'Cause if we fall, I just _might _strangle you with these Christmas lights." Mello blew his bangs out of his eyes. "I just want you to be aware of that."

Near stared ahead unamused. "Are you aware that, as I am the primary support holding you up, I could involuntarily shift, causing you to fall and break your neck?"

"And if that were to happen," Mello began, pausing to carefully space out where he let the strands of lights fall on the branches, "I'd find some way to take you down with me," he finished his thought with a smirk.

* * *

Maybe it was a bad idea. Maybe it was so insane it was brilliant. Maybe it could result horribly. Maybe the result would be less stress and headaches.

No. Nothing could cure a migraine when you've got an orphanage full of geniuses to keep from killing each other. Not when you've got to live with an overbearing rageaholic who can't get over perpetually being second best. (The combination of a neurotic perfectionist and sore loser is fatal by any means, I tell you!)

So whose idea was it to leave decorating the tree to possibly the two most destructive children on the face of the planet?

It was L's, of course. Maybe he had finally lost it.

Mello and Matt couldn't be trusted. Not with responsibility. Not with sharp objects. Not with vegetation. Not with anything remotely flammable. Never.

And, presently, the news had spread to Rodger that Near had gotten involved in the task.

Maybe the orphanage would go up in flames. Maybe it would actually become a peaceful place because maybe Mello, Matt, and Near coexisting in harmony—a feat even gods, Rodger figured, couldn't surmount—would deflate the chaotic atmosphere they created when in conflict. (And by 'they,' solely Mello is being referenced.)

Dear Lord…Mello, Matt, and Near decorating the Christmas tree…what had he agreed to?

Massaging his temples and squeezing his eyes shut, Rodger reached for his medication.

Maybe Rodger needed more medication. Or less.

* * *

"Where did Matt go?" Mello suddenly asked Near while he unraveled some of the garland of lights he'd loosely dangled around his neck so he could proceed to strangle the tree with them. "Did he ever go to get everyone else's presents to put under the tree like I asked?"

"No," Near ignored as Mello audibly gritted his teeth, "To keep the merriment going, he went bake cookies to serve as you decorated."

"Something about that makes me nervous. I don't think leaving him alone with anything slightly flammable is a good idea. He's probably not even watching the time 'cause he's got his eyes glued to his DS."

Near nodded in silent agreement. His shoulders were beginning to ache and his spine was sore from arching under the pressure it was suspending. "How much longer are you going to take?" He asked, unable to judge for himself because turning around would shift too much of his body—Near didn't risk the aftermath that would occupancy causing Mello to fall.

"Oh, I've been done. I just wanted to stand on your back as long as possible. I'm shootin' for a minor back injury as a result of this."

Near didn't respond. For as brilliant as he was, he sometimes couldn't grasp sarcasm, the freak.

"That was a joke," Mello explained crossly. "I used sarcasm with the intention of being funny…ha-ha?"

Nope. Nothing.

If it'd been summer, a cricket would've chirped to break the silence. An icicle falling to the ground and shattering into a million pieces could've broke the silence. (There. That's appropriate.)

Mello rolled his eyes. "Hold out a little longer, sheepy. I'm almost done with the top, then I'll hop off for a sec to get the angel. It'll only be a little bit more after that."

Looking forward to the break he'd get shortly, Near continued the task he'd taken up to entertain himself—modeling the number of dots on the wall with the inverse of a logarithmic function. Since his eyes were focused on the wall, the window occupied some of his line of sight. With the floor-length curtains swept open a crack, he could see a small expanse of scenery outside. "It's snowing." He observed flatly.

"What?" Mello asked, not hearing him.

"It's snowing." Near repeated, tone unwavering.

"Shit, really?" Jumping off the white-haired boy's back, Mello padded to the window. Swiping back the curtain further, he peered through the glass, nodding his head approvingly. True enough, tiny white flakes were softly flittering down from the grey-black sky, stuck to every tree branch and blade of grass. Even the mud-snowman the younger orphans had made was lightly blanketed in snow. "Nice. It's going to be a White Christmas."

Near curled into a sitting position, loosely playing with the ribbon on a wrapped present nearby. "Yes, a White Christmas—the last occurred in 1987. The other children will be excited, if they haven't found out already. That's highly unlikely, though, since I haven't heard a chorus of shrill—"

Whoa, whoa.

Hold up.

Was Near seriously trying to engage in small talk with him?

Mello cringed at the thought, scrunching up his features in disgust. "Near." He said very seriously. "Don't tell me you're actually trying to small talk with me."

"Well, I thought of attempting once in my lifetime." He curled a lock of hair around his finger. "How would you say I'm doing?"

"Bad. Just bad. It's freaking me out. Don't do it."

"You were an inadequate subject to try small talking on." Near made the comment to himself.

Mello narrowed his eyes, catching the reflection of Near in the window, and watched as he toyed with a bow atop a square-shaped present with spidery fingers. He seemed to be contemplating whether it'd be right to retie it or leave it as is.

Something occurred to Mello, and as much as he wanted to deny it and reject it, he realized that Near had to be lonely. Had anyone even gotten him a present? Ever? Freaky albino had no friends…preferred to spend all his time locked up in the musty cave of a room he liked to play in.

And, impulsively, Mello decided to do something about it. Closing his fist around the chocolate bar in his pocket, he took it out. Falling back into a couch cushion, he lounged for a moment, staring up at the ceiling. Near didn't look up at all, just kept his gaze intently on the bow clasped in his hands. Mello snapped a piece of chocolate with his teeth, and chewed slowly, savoring the sweet flavor as it slide down his throat. Then, at the other end of the bar, he cracked a piece off and tossed it onto the floor just a few inches away from Near. "We're taking a break. Eat up. Or would you prefer some wheat-grass juice 'cause that's the next best thing we've got that tastes like a fresh meadow, sheepy?"

Near gazed at the small chocolate square meticulously, trying to judge what kind of gesture this was.

"What? What's wrong with it?" Mello muttered through a mouthful of chocolate.

Near shrugged impassively. "I don't eat chocolate."

"Why not?" Mello demanded, irritated that he'd volunteered a perfectly delicious piece of chocolate to try to be nice to Near, just to have land on the floor, uneaten.

"Eating it enables one to potentially suffer cardiac arrest, which I hope to avoid because I will be needed for as long as possible to solve crimes as L's successor." Near looked up at Mello, holding his cerulean gaze evenly with a slate one of his own. "And at the rate you eat chocolate, Mello, I've determined you'll die at the age of 23."

Mello's eye twitched. He vowed never to be sympathetic again.

* * *

_Yeah, take that you stupid servant to the overload of Middle-earth! You need that huge spiky prism-thing to kill me 'cause the rest of your attacks suck! __Haha, dodged you. AGAIN! I'm about to PWN your semi-transparent ass and I'm playing as a girl! _

Matt, sitting on the counter in the kitchen, hunched over his DS screen, punching buttons rapidly. Surrounding him were stacks of cookbooks, bowls dirty from remnants of dough, and packages of the various ingredients he'd used to make several hundred cookies. Russian teas cakes, chocolate chip, date-nut drops, sugar, potato chip, eggnog-flavored, peanut butter, coconut-cranberry bars—oh yeah, he'd gone all out. He was sitting back, soaking up the satisfaction of successful cookie baking. And damn, the kitchen smelled great. What could be better than this?

He was so close to making the Witch-King his bitch (or Eowyn's, really) that he wasn't paying attention when several timers sounded simultaneously.

* * *

Mello trudged over the nearest table, sifting through miscellaneous crap associated with holidays. "Nutcraker, no…creepy collection Snow Babies that weirdly remind me of winter-themed Teletubbies…snowman mugs, a demonic Santa Claus doll, hot chocolate mix four years expired, a wooden baby Jesus without a manger, a half-chewed Advent calendar…aha! The angel for the top of the tree…oh wait, she's got an ice skate blade lodge in her little wooden skull, aw damn..."

"Don't we have a star for the top of the tree?"

"You mean the star that I punted into the forest on a sugar high last year, and couldn't get back because an insane homeless man thought it fell from the sky, and for that reason, ran around in circles, slurring passages from that week's ASDA coupon paper, which he claimed to be the Bible?"

Near started at Mello, wordlessly and expressionlessly. Then, he asked, "…Is the event you're describing the same one where you displayed the same behaviors of slight intoxication after drinking an excessive amount of hot chocolate?"

"If you're saying I was tipsy, then yeah, I kinda did get drunk of hot chocolate last year...oh, what a little extra foam and hot fudge can do to you...it's dangerous, Near. Fatal. You should try it."

"Another reason to avoid chocolate at all costs."

Mello narrowed his eyes. "Shut up, Near."

* * *

Why didn't the kitchen smell delicious anymore?

Why was this game too easy, even on the hardest setting?

Why do cookies take so long to bake?

Why do people actually pair Legolas and Gimli together?

Why does something smell like its burning?

Why couldn't Matt get to the oven fast enough to save his batch of potato chip cookies?

Why was Matt so stupid sometimes?

* * *

"Aha!" Mello exclaimed, finally dislodging the ice skate blade from the angel's head. "Take that, bitch! I'M BEAST."

Near wordlessly got back into his position as a table for Mello to stand on. He didn't want to point out that the angel hardly resembled a female dog, so he kept his mouth shut. Or by Mello's use of a colorful metaphor, was he referring to the ice skate? This puzzled Near, and he put off finishing his dots-in-the-wallpaper-counting equation, and tried to decipher the meaning of other colorful metaphors in different contexts.

When he was situated, Mello climbed onto Near's back and rose to full height, enjoying the view of the room from a different angle. It was cool to look down at the world, pretend for a moment that you're above it. Especially Near. Mello extended his arm as far as it would go to get the angel suited on the highest branch, which he did successfully. Taking extension cord for the lights and fitting the plug for the angel in, Mello jumped off Near, ready to behold his tree in all its brilliant radiance.

"Are you ready for this, Near?"

"In what ways do I need to be ready?"

"Stop talking. Just watch, okay?"

Mello inserted the plug and tree to shot into a bright, full shine…expect the most important part of it. "Oh, damn." He said, frowning at the tree disappointedly. "The angel won't light up. The candles she's holding don't work anymore. Fuck, I'm gonna get blamed for this. Yo snowball, got any bright ideas?"

* * *

Matt drew his head from peaking inside the stove, shutting it as returned to full height. _Man, those cookies look horrible_, he thought. He had recovered from nearly burning the kitchen—the casualties resulting only to a few trays—and had tried to start again with a new batch of potato chip cookies. He scratched his head as he went revisit the recipe. _What did I do wrong? _

Puzzling over it a while, he decided to just call for help. When things got out of hand or dangerous, of course he'd drag his best friend into it. Making a cone around his mouth with his hands, he shouted, "MELLO!"

"Hold on, Matt!" Mello called back. "I'll be there in a sec—I just gotta finish shoving lights up the angel's ass!"

That seemed perfectly plausible, so Matt shouted, "OKAY! SEE YOU IN A MINUTE!"

"Wait, what?" Matt heard Mello exclaim suddenly, voice muffled by the wall that separated them. "Near, what did you just say?" Then he shrieked, "I shove _what _up _whose _ass?"

* * *

"You are so creepy." Mello glared at Near, trying to hide that fact that he'd blushed at his last comment.

"So my assumption was correct? You have yet to deny—"

"Near, whatever I say, you'll take the wrong way. And besides, what do I need to prove to you? That's right, nothing."

"I am right, though—you and Matt are dating."

Mello blanched. "Okay, maybe we should just stop talking about this." Avoiding the conversation before it started, he pushed a large cardboard box in front of Near. "This has more lights. I want you to untangle them and put them on the tree. Go on, we're almost done with the lights."

"Mello, I noticed you hadn't tested any of the lights out. Are you sure they work?"

"Why wouldn't they? They've been in the attic all year and we haven't used them for anything since."

Near just stared at him.

"Okay, fine! I'll test some out. God, you don't have to be so pushy! _You _go help Matt with the cookies, and _I'll _stay here to see if all the lights work!"

* * *

"So why couldn't Mello come?" Matt asked, tying the string to Near's apron.

"There appears to be some technical difficulties with the lights."

"And he sent you to here to help with the baking?"

"That is correct."

"Okayyy," Matt walked Near over to oven, and jabbed a finger at it just as smoke billowed out. "Do you want explain to me why I'm burning every batch of cookies I put into the oven?"

Near didn't even look in the direction Matt was pointing, for took to surveying the trays of cookies he had lined up on the counter. "Simple." Near tilted his head at Matt's misshapen cookies. "You can't make cookies different sizes or they burn like that."

Matt put his hands on his hips, appearing more feminine then usual with that stance and the frilly pink apron he put on. "You mean to tell me—" The redhead didn't finish his sentence, for both he and Near were encased in shadows, the lights suddenly being cut off, making the room go black.

They sparely let out a breath before Mello shouted, "GODDAMMIT! DON'T TELL ME I BLEW A FUCKING FUSE!"

"Mello, you blew a—" Near stopped short when Matt threw a hand over his mouth.

"Shh." Matt whispered. "Just _don't_."

Near mumbled something incoherent into Matt's hand.

Matt took his hand away. "What?"

"I said, 'We don't have to worry about the cookies being baked anymore since the oven won't work now.'"

"Yeah, I'm going to take care of that." Matt declared, putting his arms out in front of him so he wouldn't run into anything in the dark. Of course, he took two steps, and clutched his head, cursing. "Ow, fuck! Damn wall came out of nowhere…"

* * *

All the lights had turned on by the time Matt found Mello, twenty minutes later, and perfectly illuminated was the fact that the blonde was tangled from head to toe in about thirty strands of lights. Matt arched an eyebrow.

"I can explain." Mello offered.

The redhead shook his head. "No need."

"It's all Near's fault—"

"Should I get the hedge clippers or something?"

Mello made a face. "And waste all these lights? That spells detention, or worse—having to spend more time with Near."

"Well," Matt said, yanking at the wires around the blonde's shoulders. "I left him in the kitchen, so you don't have to worry about seeing his pasty, disgusting face for a while."

"Actually, he hasn't been bothering me much today. Can you believe it?"

"Seriously?" Matt was now pulling a wire with both hands, his foot digging into Mello's leg in an attempt to have more leverage.

"Seriously."

Matt grunted when the wire wouldn't unravel. "Wow—talk about getting in the holiday spirit, Mels. You're on the road to Heaven. Who would've thunk it, huh?"

"Ugh, it's not like we've made peace. There's nothing I'd like to see more than him a pathetically miserable failure, but, I'm just saying, I've been with him a while, and I haven't killed him yet, you know?"

Another yank. "Sure."

"Ow! God, that hurts! Could you not pull so hard?" Mello snapped.

Matt frowned. "Yeah, I'm getting the pliers or something…"

"Wait, don't go! You dumbass, it's not going to work!" Mello moved impatiently, trying to move after Matt, but stopping at the constriction of the wires.

Determinedly, Matt took a step forward, but promptly got his foot caught in the loop of a wire. "Oh, shit!" Knocking Mello over in his fall, both became tangled up together in the strands of Christmas wires, and landed nose to nose. Underneath Mello, Matt, blushing embarrassedly, grinned awkwardly back at the blonde, who glared at him. "Uhh…I-I can't move my arms." The redhead said pathetically.

"Nice one, genius."

Matt's eyes went wide defensively. "It's not my fault you tangled yourself in Christmas lights in the first place! I was just trying to help."

Cobalt eyes rolled.

Matt cringed when he felt Mello's breath on his face. He gulped. "Could you not do that?"

"What?"

"Breathe on my face. We're close enough already, and it's weird, and that isn't making it any better. So don't do it."

Mello frowned, irritated. "Um, you're going to have to deal with it until we get out of this mess. I can't _not_ breathe. Unless you want to try to roll me off of you, I can't do anything. Deal with it."

"Hey, hey." Matt chided, suddenly calm. "Don't freak out, I got it. We can just get Near to help. NE—"

In that moment, the door to the kitchen burst open. It was swung with such great force that it hit the adjoining wall, causing the glass frame of a painting to crack.

"KYA! TIME TO USE MY SUPER NINJA POWERS!"

Near ran out into the parlor, his pajama shirt tired around his head like a bandana. He had a dirty spatula grasped in one hand, and a rubber chicken in the other. Traces of cookie dough, flour, and streaks of eggnog were smeared across his bare chest, face, and clumped in his tousled white hair.

With wide slate eyes, Near rambled mindlessly, skipping around the room. "The great chicken overload made me cookies but we can't lick them until feathers protect him from demon lawn mowers!" To emphasize his point, he squeezed the rubber chicken. One of its beaty black eyes grew disturbingly larger as it squeaked.

Leaping onto a table, ignoring as its contents crashed to the floor, Near hummed to a random tune frantically, and banged his spatula against the wall. "Remember to protect the feathers from the demon lawn mowers!" He chanted as the spatula took up the tune he'd stopped humming.

Mello and Matt didn't, couldn't, wouldn't utter a word.

Unhappy with this, Near scrunched his face, like a child refusing to take their medicine as the spoon was poised against their lips. Then, throwing the rubber chicken on the ground, and stomping on it with both feet, Near screeched, "How dare you defy the king!"

As if hearing something in the totally silent room, Near whipped his head around, his expression one of pure elation. "Do you hear the lambs? They sing so beautifully! They will hide from me when I reach them at their office." Near closed the distance to the door, arms spread out wide like he were an airplane. "WEE! It's time for take off! In tomorrow's July I'm going to straight to the moon, daddy! Heehee—you'll be so proud of meeee!" He pranced away, his apron, unfastened from his waist, trailing after him like a cape.

For the longest time, neither Matt nor Mello could muster a coherent thought, much less form a sentence.

Visibly in shock, Matt just shook his head back and forth speechlessly.

Then, voice shaking, Mello spoke, "Matt…did you happen to leave spiked eggnog on the counter?"

The confirmation of Mello's assumption was plastered on Matt's face. "Oh God…"

* * *

Several hours later, kind of unsure how the hell anything presently or previously had happened, Mello, Matt, Near sat together of the front steps of the orphanage, the snow falling softly around them.

Mello, unable to make eye contact with the other two boys, cleared his throat, speaking up in the awkward silence. "There's nothing really to say, is there?"

"No." Near responded monotonously, eyes dully staring ahead, finally back to his typical indifferent, detached demeanor. And for that, Matt and Mello were infinitely glad.

"Well, I'm never going to forget this Christmas, guys." Matt said, his side of his mouth tugging up a little ruefully.

Mello nodded in agreement.

Matt turned to left, having to get this off his chest. "Just so you know, Near, I'm never going to look at you the same again." He declared, and Mello joined in his nervous laughter.

Near didn't respond.

But Matt didn't want to leave their relationship off like that. He had to make sure everything was okay between the three of them. "Okay, seriously, though. Let's pretend none of this happened. It's done and over and we should forget about it." He looked up, between the other two boys on either side of him. "Agreed?"

"Agreed." Mello and Near said together.

Matt extended a gloved hand to Mello. "Shake on it?"

The blonde nodded and grasped his hand, giving it a firm shake.

Matt turned to Near. A bit hesitantly, he put his hand out for the white-haired boy. "Yeah?"

Curling a lock of hair around his finger, Near stared at Matt's hand.

"Come on, it'll be okay." Matt gave him an encouraging little grin.

Near nodded and curtly stuck out his hand, quickly closing it around Matt's, then sharply withdrew it, not actually _shaking_ Matt's hand, but wordlessly agreeing to the gesture.

A slight tension built when Near's eyes raise to meet Mello's. The blonde teen had his arms tucked around his waist, refusing to submit his hand to this truce. Near equally kept his arm down, hand resting on his knee.

Emerald eyes guarded by orange goggles rolled. "Come on, guys."

Near swallowed and reached over to put his hand before Mello, who grinned. Instead of shaking the hand Near offered, Mello threw a handful of snow in Near's face. Grinning teasingly, Mello ran back in the house laughing all the way to the door, which he quickly shut behind him, keeping Matt and Near in the cold.

Looking down at Near, Matt said, "He's definitely warming up to you."

* * *

Minutes later, all three boys stood before the fully decorated Christmas tree, admiring the tall spruce in all its glory.

Mello, bent behind it, held up each end of the plug that would ignite it with bright color. "Ready for the grand light display, guys?"

"Hell ya, Mels." Matt clapped his hands together. "Light this bitch, I'm ready!"

"3…2…1…VOILA!" Mello exclaimed as his features were drenched in a blinding white light.

Near sheltered his eyes with his arm. "Was it necessary to cover every inch of the tree with lights?"

"Yeah, I can smell my eyes burning, Mels." Matt added.

"Good." Mello smiled, coming out from behind the tree. "Then I did my job right."

Matt smirked. "I can't get over how evil you are sometimes."

"Oh, hold on, forgot something." Mello left the room, and returned with his arms full of blankets and pillows.

Near raised a skeptical eyebrow.

Pointing, Matt asked, "What are those for?"

"What?" Mello's tone suggested Matt had just asked the stupidest question in history. "You want to stay up for Santa, don't you?" He looked down at Near. "You're not getting out of this." He thrust a blanket into the arms of the younger boy. "Now help me make a fort."

* * *

Monitoring the parlor from the vantage points of several hidden cameras, L leaned back in his chair, fist closing around a cup of tea. Bringing it close to his lips, he smiled before sipping the hot liquid.

On the screen before him was the clear image of his three top successors huddled up together by the Christmas tree on Christmas morning. Near, curled into a ball with his back nestled into Mello's side, shifted a little to tug at the corner of the blanket they were all sharing. Mello, lying on his back between the two other boys, yawned and flipped to lay on his stomach, distributing Matt, who had attached himself to Mello's other side, clasping his arm tightly and resting his head on the shoulder of his best friend. Matt, grumbling sleepily, rolled to his side and cocooned himself in more blankets, robbing more from Near.

L was proud of his work. After all, there was a reason he was the most brilliant man in the world.


	2. Christmas Day

**A/N – **First, I gotta say this wouldn't even have existed were it not for BeyondBelief13's enthusiasm for me to continue this story. Her hilarious and adorable suggestions were vital to the making of this chapter, so thank you, BeyondBelief13~! :D

And, second, I've got a quick message for shego1142: I might be late to that footie pajama party we've got planned – I've got to capture L and Light (because I doubt they'd come to our party willingly…unless we lured L in with a truckload of cake, lol) to reign in sweet little Near, feisty little Mello, and nerdy little Matt. :3

* * *

The floor was uncomfortable (therefore, nearly all of Mello's limbs were sore), the blanket didn't keep him warm (that being constantly tugged off him and Near by Matt because the damn kid apparently liked to hibernate and wasn't satisfied with his _four other blankets_), he couldn't hear himself think over the rattling dishwasher all night, he had a headache from his very flat, very NOT FLUFFY pillow, and dear God, had he mentioned that being smashed between two people was certainly NOT fun?

But…that warm arm coiled around his waist, accompanied by the head on his shoulder, soft hair brushing against his neck did feel nice. When he made the slightest of movements, that arm would tighten, the body pressed into Mello's would curl up a little more, trying to nestle more closely against his side. And, what the hell, a little too sleepy to care, he snuggled back. He wound an arm around said warm, cuddly person to keep them against him. Mello heard a soft sigh that came from the face nuzzled in his chest.

_Okay, so maybe this isn't so bad, _Mello thought, secretly enjoying the presence. _As much as I don't want to admit that I like it, it's true. _He yawned, rubbing the other person's back, inching away from them slowly. _But, seriously, my leg is getting crushed. _

Wearily, Mello cracked open his eyes. When his fuzzy vision cleared, crushing realization hit him hard. _Oh dear Godiva! _Sprawled out all over him quite intimately was Near. _NEAR! _Mello catapulted himself into the air, breathing heavily with terror. It was so revolting and disgusting and embarrassing and awkward and _the thought of Near – freaking NEAR – almost spooning him _was enough to make him desperately want a shower, a blackout, a restraining order, and a therapist. In that order.

Even after he'd thrown Near off of him with lightening speed and the force of a hurricane, the white-haired boy didn't stir. He didn't even blink. Near brought his knees up to his chest, squishing Mello's pillow under his arm, and sucked his thumb, sound asleep.

Meanwhile, Mello threw a fit. Thrashing his arms, mumbling angrily through clenched teeth, stomping his feet, glaring at Near with such uncontrollable hatred, wordlessly seething.

So, needless to say, Mello woke up pretty damn grumpy. Which was not ideal for Christmas morning. To fix this inconvenience, the blonde skulked off to the kitchen to get a screwdriver. He'd use this to scrape out every thought out of his mind. (And by 'screwdriver,' I clearly mean the drink.)

* * *

Matt had certainly had a good night's sleep, what with having a glorious dream about sugarplum faeries. Okay, maybe they more resembled Mello twirling around in a field with sparkly wings and a serene expression, but still. It was pretty great. Erm…in a comical way. Yeah. Matt enjoyed it only for that reason—'cause it was hilarious…heh…heh…

Matt's only problem was waking up. Stifling a groggy yawn, he stretched out his arms, hands searching under the blankets for a certain blonde. But all he felt was the cold hardwood floor.

"Mello…?" He called out, voice sounding raspy. He squinted around, trying to spy for him.

And in one swift and lethal movement, Matt felt a stinging pain in his temple. "Ow!" He exclaimed, his eyes shot open and he rubbed his head at the same time. He grumpily pouted up at Mello, who'd kicked him. "Christ, what the hell was that for?"

Mello looked annoyed. "Well, what was I supposed to do? You sleep like a fucking Yule log."

"But…but…you don't have to be so violent!"

"Whatever. I mean, we missed it anyway." Mello said, frowning.

"Missed what?" Matt wondered deliriously. He raised himself to an elbow, still confused. Peering over at the tree, he watched Near play with the ribbon tied on the top of a present. Matt flailed his arms excitedly, as the realization of what day it was hit him. "OH, SWEET DONKEY KONG, IT'S CHRISTMAS!"

Mello rolled his eyes and chucked a pillow at his head. "No dur, Matt."

Matt gleefully pounced on him, getting tangled up in blankets doing so, molesting his best friend in a hug. "YAY, MELLO, I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S CHRISTMAS! AREN'T YOU EXCITED?"

The blonde just gave him a sour look, motioning to their close proximity. "You really gotta stop doing that."

Matt grinned. "Cheer up, Melly-Jelly! It's Christmas!"

"No."

"Yes, or I'll tickle happiness and rainbows out of you~!"

Icy cobalt eyes narrowed. "You. Wouldn't. Dare."

"RAWR!" Near shouted, pouncing on them, initiating a full-out, three-way tickle/giggle fest.

* * *

Best. Day. Ever.

Despite being woken up at five in the morning by my roommate, who was too eager to attack the presents under the tree, I can't complain. Initially, I was pissed off since it was still dark out and I wasn't sure if Santa had come yet, so I didn't even know if there'd be presents for us to attack. But my roommate was acting so adorable, even after I growled at them and told them to go away.

They pounced on my bed, jumping up and down, repeating my name. Then, when I wouldn't wake up, they settled in the bed beside me so they could poke me in the side until I stirred. Which, surprisingly, I didn't mind. Because when they got tired of poking me, their arm coiled limply around my side. And when they tried to pull it away, embarrassed because we were just friends, I caught it and held it there, my hand overtop of theirs. I hid my blush underneath the covers.

Glancing at the frost-covered window, I closed my eyes to sleep some more with the last thought of, _It's a White Christmas this year. But that doesn't really matter, because this is already the best Christmas _ever, and snuggled closer to my roommate. A sense of comfort, security, and warmth filled me. And I made my mind up, whatever happens today, I didn't care—as long as I had that moment, that's all I needed.

"EVERYONE, WAKE UP! WAKE UP! IT'S CHRISTMAS!"

The blaringly loud and excited phrase gave me a start, and my eyes shot open, staring at my roommate, who was just getting out of my bed, their hand closed around mine. I was tugged towards the hallway, and I squinted at them, rubbing weariness out of my eyes. I sent my roommate a look, pleading to them to explain what's going on. They giggled and told me, "I just watched Matt run by, shouting and waking everyone up. It's Christmas morning; let's go, we've got presents to open!"

"Can't we wait a while?" I mumbled. "Plenty hours of daylight left…plenty of time for presents. Not like they're going to—"

They tugged my arm again, and I nodded, agreeing to being pulled to the parlor.

"Come on, Beyond Birthday, you sleepyhead!" A said, his smile radiating such brilliance I was blinded by the pure happiness he so rarely showed. And even if it lasted only one day, I'd cherish it.

* * *

"Maybe we should prepare ourselves against the influx of overexcited, uncontrollable orphans." Near warned, his slate eyes fixed on the door the other kids are bound to stampede through. "The others will not let us stand in the way of their presents." His arms were full of the blankets and pillows he, Mello, and Matt had slept on it, and he looked ready to use them as a shield.

Mello arched an eyebrow, cracking off a chocolate square from his king-sized chocolate bar (which he dug out of his stocking already). "And just how would we do that? We didn't build the fort I'd wanted to last night because you fell asleep the second I laid a blanket and pillow on the floor. Seriously, is the hangover you're pretending not to have rendering your brain internal damage or something?"

Near narrowed his eyes a fraction. "I thought we'd agreed to forget about last night?"

Mello smirked. "I never shook on it."

* * *

The day keeps getting cuter and cuter. Not only did I get to snuggle with A, finally able to break the barrier that kept us from staying friends since we both had been crushing on the other for as long as we could remember, but I ran into the parlor, hand in hand with A, to see the next most adorable thing.

It appears that Mello, Matt, and Near had a slumber party in the parlor by the Christmas tree. Just as I burst through the doors, Near, with a stuffed elephant tucked under his arm, looked as if he'd wanted to grasp onto Mello's waist and hide his face in his side because the crowd of rowdy kids intimidated him. Judging by Mello's recent change of mood, I think he would've let him.

* * *

"Yay, I got a train!"

"Oo, look, a dollie!"

"FUCK YES! I GOT A GUN, BITCHES!"

"Uh, Mello…it's not even real. That's a cap gun, it only makes a popping noise and puffs smoke…"

"Shut up, Near!"

"Supreme _Jeopardy!_ For Super Genius! Who's up for a match?"

"Cool! A skateboard!"

"POTATOES!"

"Dice. Just what I asked for."

"Aw, Near! That's no fun! Can't you at least act excited?"

"I'd prefer not to."

"Matt, quit worshiping the PS2 you got and open this one—here, catch!"

"Ow, you hit me in the eye!"

"Haha, oops~!"

* * *

Dear Lord, it was like a nightmare. Thousands of shrill voices relentlessly chattering on and on. Squealing, bickering, cheering—MAKE IT STOP!

Rodger wished they'd slept in a little longer, because it was entirely TOO EARLY for this right now. He couldn't handle it. He really needed to get down to the kitchen so he could open up that spiked eggnog he'd stashed away and drown his sorrows.

As he tied the belt of his robe and shoved his feet in bunny slippers, he was so glad he'd called L down to visit.

All noise would stop when he could force those kids to all sit and listen to L from the laptop.

Rodger just wanted was some peace and quiet, after all.

* * *

Amid the present exchanges and excitement, Matt had managed to tie bows in Mello and Near's hair, and laughed his ass off when they glared at him in their own separate ways—Mello obviously, Near subtly. From the corner of his eye, he even watched A tie a huge bow around BB's middle and exclaim, "What more could I want? You're my present!"

Christmas morning was a riot. Matt couldn't imagine having a better time than this. It was a shock the house hadn't gone down in flames.

All orphans gasped collectively in horror when they heard Rodger shout, "OKAY, WHICH ONE OF YOU LITTLE SAVAGES DRANK MY EGGNOG?"

_Oh, God. Spoke to soon…_Matt thought.

And things went downhill from there.

* * *

Once Rodger stepped out of the kitchen, steam spouting from his eyes, ears, and nostrils, every single index finger in the room pointed at Near. The small white-haired boy cringed, hugging his stuffed elephant tight against his chest.

"Haha, very funny." Rodger snickered. "Near wouldn't touch the eggnog."

"What if he thought it was milk?" A small voice inquired.

"They taste totally different, stupid." Someone answered. "No wonder they genius' lack common sense."

"Um, you're a hypocrite, so just shut up."

"Well, you can't explain quantum physics, so you shouldn't talk either."

Mello grabbed Matt's arm, and led him out of the crowd inconspicuously. Everyone was too distracted to notice they were gone. Mello dragged the redhead into the nearest open doorway, which happened to be a closet. He flipped the light switch on just as Matt closed to the door behind him.

"What's up, Mels?" Matt asked in a serious tone. He knew his best friend was onto something, and that he was going to be dragged into it. He'd do so willingly, of course; he just needed to know what they were doing.

"Look, we both know everyone's going to blame me. And, whatever, I'll take the fall—I just need you to convince Rodger to lesson the punishment."

Matt blinked. "You'd do that for Near?"

Mello coughed, not meeting the emerald eyes trained on him. "No, it's not like that—"

"It sounds like _that_."

"Okay, don't look at it that way. I'm asking you to bail me out, that's all. And I'm asking you to do that," Mello shrugged. "'Cause I know you'd do the same for me." When Matt didn't respond, Mello placed his hands seriously on Matt's shoulders, not breaking eye contact even though the gamer's eyes widened. "It's unavoidable, okay? I'm not helping Near!" Mello declared firmly, lips forming a tight line.

"Okay, fine." Matt just looked at the blonde knowingly, once he'd let go of him. "I've just got a question."

Mello spun the doorknob, not glancing back. "What?"

"Would he do the same for us?"

There was a pause, and Mello's shoulders tensed.

"No, Matt. He wouldn't."

And though Matt couldn't see his expression, he could _hear _the rueful smile in Mello's voice.

* * *

There was shouting, there were insults, there were questions, and there wasn't any evidence.

Presenting itself was a perfect mystery to solve for legions of young genius' hoping one day to be the greatest detective in the world—but everything was chaos.

And Near was stuck in the middle of it, knowing it was his fault Christmas was probably ruined, and all he could think about was stealing away to play only in his room. He'd gotten dice and a stuffed elephant for Christmas this year, and his brilliant mind was trying to determine what he'd do with each in days to come, where to file them in his room, when he'd grow bored of them, why he wanted them in the first place, and how he found entertainment in them.

Then the sound of a gun, reverberating and loud, pierced his ears and made him squeeze his eyes shut.

"YO, EVERYBODY!" Mello shouted amid the already deafening voices. He pulled the trigger of his cap gun again. "QUIT YOUR STUPID, MINDLESS, UNPRODUCTIVE BICKERING AND LOOK OVER HERE!" Mello flipped in his hair over his shoulder. _Great, now that I've got all eyes on my irresistible face_, he thought, _might as well get this over with_. Standing on a table, Mello glared down at the crowd. Once he could be heard by all, he spoke again. "Okay, we've got a bit of a problem on our hands—"

"Way to go, Captain Obvious."

"Yeah, no shit, Sherlock."

Mello folded his arms across his chest, holding the gaze of everyone in the room. "How about you get over yourselves because Near and I are the smartest people in here, anyway? Yeah, you may not like it, but it's true. So, on the subject of Near, why are we all accusing him of drinking the damn eggnog when it's obvious that I did."

Most kids snickered.

Some genuinely gasped in surprise.

Lots of people rolled their eyes.

Near dropped his stuffed elephant.

Rodger didn't even look shocked—instead, his features bent in annoyance. He grabbed Mello off the table by the shirt collar. "To my office. _Now_."

Matt grabbed onto Mello's leg, a panicked expression flashing across his face. "No, wait, don't do that! It's Christmas, cut him some slack! And what if he really did think it was milk! I don't think we've really explored that angle—"

As he was being dragged out of the room, Mello shouted. "Oh, and try out this brainteaser, geniuses! There's an ASDA down the street, so in the time everyone started fighting, someone could've gotten another carton of eggnog!"

* * *

He'd been watching the whole time, and even though he wasn't actually there, it still concerned him. Wide, grey eyes watched as his one of his most promising successors stood up on the table and addressed the orphanage. L sat back in his chair, setting his tea cup down slowly.

What Mello did was noble, even if he'd insulted all of his fellow orphans' intelligence in standing up for Near. Everything Mello seemed to do was intended for good, but his solutions were appalling. He didn't want recognized as a hero—wouldn't be recognized anyway—but he was.

L was proud of Mello. And, for that, he signaled Watari. "Ready a helicopter," he said.

* * *

"Well, this is definitely going to be a Christmas we won't forget." Matt said, his hands dipping below the surface of the soapy water that filled up the volume of the sink. "Huh, Mels?"

"Yeah, and I don't even care that we're stuck doing the dishes," Mello replied, drying more dishes and stacking them up high. "This Christmas was entertaining, if not crazy as hell. And, whatever. At least we got to stuck doing it together. It'd be boring by myself."

"Well, we're both in trouble. Me, for breaking the oven and leaving this mess; you for taking the blame for Near." Matt peaked through his red bangs at the blonde. "How in the world could you do that, Mello? It was sort of amazing." As he said it, Matt held out a bowl for Mello to take, and when he looked over at him, he couldn't see his expression, for his long blonde hair and fallen over his face.

"Did you see Near's face when I told everyone I'd had the eggnog?" Mello whispered.

"No…"

"It made it worth it."

"So you're not mad that you didn't get an apology from Near?"

Mello didn't answer.

* * *

Rodger, in the quiet tranquility of his office, finally seemed to unwind. Those damn kids, he swore, were out to make his life miserable. Skimming over some papers, he cursed his inner stupidity. Of course Mello had done it! Why didn't he just think of that sooner?

Maybe he thought with the events of last night, him actually being civil to Near, that the kid has changed, even if for a while. But that was impossible. Mello was the worst trouble-maker he'd even taken into the orphanage. If he wasn't so smart, Rodger was certain he would've transferred him to another place immediately.

Suddenly, there was a soft rap on the door.

Rodger jumped a little in his chair. Then, collected himself enough to mumble "come in" as the door was pushed open. Wordlessly, the white-haired boy entered. "What is it, Near?" Rodger inquired.

The kid padded up to his desk, and pulled a chair over to stand on. Once he'd climbed onto it, Near met Rodger's gaze. He raised his arm and placed a brown paper bag in front of Rodger.

The older man stared at it quizzically, so Near pushed it across his desk. "Mello's right." Near said, eyes dull. "It's just eggnog—did you really have to make a big deal about it?"

Rodger started wide-eyed at the white-haired boy. He waited until he'd shut the door behind him to tear the bag open. Inside was a cartoon of eggnog.

* * *

Mello and Matt were giggling and blowing bubbles at each other by the time I burst into the kitchen, out of breath and grinning insanely. They seemed to really be enjoying themselves, and each other, but I had something that I knew they'd love to hear.

"Guys, L's here! Said he wants to read us a Christmas story! Oh, but Mello, he wants to talk to you first. Like, privately or something."

As he said it, Mello quit soaping Matt's hair, and released him from the headlock he'd been holding him in, the smile frozen on his face. "…Seriously?"

"Yeah." I punched him in the shoulder playfully. "Merry Christmas, kid. You deserve it."

"Thanks, BB. How's your Christmas been?"

With A close beside me, I felt the smile form on my lips as I said, "It's been the best day ever."

* * *

It was the most memorable Christmas the orphans had had.

L, after reading a few classic Christmas tales to everyone, stayed to play with the kids in the snow. He posed for a few kids when they wanted to make a snowman replica of him, and Matt watched for a while before he ran off to Mello, who he found patting snow on the ground.

Coming to a stop beside him, Matt asked, "What are you doing?"

"Oh, um, nothing…" Mello blushed and accepted the hot chocolate the redhead handed to him. "Where's BB?" He suddenly asked, then as Matt raised an eyebrow at him, explained, "He stole my mittens after I accidentally hit A with some snow."

Matt shrugged, watching as a hail of snowballs flew through the air behind Mello. "Last I saw he and A were examining some leaves that were stuck over one of the doorways."

Mello took a sip of his hot chocolate, raising his eyebrows at Matt. "…You mean mistletoe?"

Suddenly, Rodger drove by in a snowmobile, grinning evilly and pelting orphans with huge waves of snow. He cackled and, despite how scary he was sometimes, he looked like he was actually enjoying himself.

"Whoa, that looks like fun!" Mello exclaimed, cerulean eyes widening. He turned to his best friend, grinning wickedly. "You want to steal one for us to start a race with Rodger on?"

"Hell yes! But, wait, let's finish our hot chocolate first."

"Oh, yeah, driving the snowmobile wound crazier if I'm a little loopy."

"Who said you're driving?"

Mello frowned. "It's nonnegotiable, Matty."

Matt rolled his eyes. "Whatever." Pushing on Mello's shoulder a little, he kept from them getting hit by a snowball heading in their direction. "Oh, forgot to ask…"

"Yeah?"

"What did L say when he talked to you before reading the stories?"

"Oh, he wanted to congratulate me." Mello gulped some more hot chocolate. "Something about doing the right thing…you know, about Rodger freaking out at us over the eggnog?"

Matt's jaw hit his snow boots. "He knew you didn't do it?"

Mello shrugged, blushing a little. "What can I say? L knows everything."

But Matt wasn't concentrating on him anymore. "Um…Mello, did the ground just shake?"

"What?" The blonde gave Matt his best innocent expression.

But Matt couldn't tear his gaze from the snow that seemed to be splitting before his eyes.

Then they heard, Manx, a brunette girl in all white clothes, shout, "WHERE'S NEAR?"

Mello turned to Matt eyes wide. "Come on," Mello grasped Matt's arm, and broke into a sprint. "RUN!"

* * *

L was surrounded by his children all day. Rodger relaxed and had some fun (for once!). B and A spent the holiday exploring the pure love they had discovered in each other. Mello, Matt, and Near all played together (once Near had been unburied from the snow ditch Mello stuck him in)—Mello and Near enjoying each other's company, even though wouldn't admit it to themselves or each other. And seeing Mello and Near come together made Matt happy. That, and his Pikmin 2 game.

For once, there was peace at the orphanage as everyone seemed to come together like a family. As Christmas should be spent.


End file.
